How to Increase Your Confidence in 30 Days
Sharing tips from experience
Over the last few years, I had a confidence crisis.
It wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized the severity of my problem. My productivity and mindset were being crippled.
A few weeks ago, I decided to make changes. I needed to get my confidence back for life to work.
Facing constant failure led to this downfall. I lost hundreds of thousands of dollars, my businesses, friends & girlfriends, gained weight and realized I had an alcohol problem.
Luckily, the changes I made worked and my confidence is back.
I want to share with you the actionable steps that helped increase my confidence.
1. Figure out what is causing the confidence loss
The moment I realized how fragile my confidence was, I wanted to figure out what led me to this point.
As a man, this can be an embarrassing realization and a tough idea to reflect on.
Women look for confident men. Admitting you are not confident means admitting you are not desirable.
Kind of scary.
The problem is, unless you can admit your confidence is shot, you will fail to be able to bring it back up. You’ll become so fragile that you will also become volatile, defensive and unpleasant.
So, before you do anything else, admit you have a confidence problem and figure out what is causing it.
For myself, I got a lot of confidence from having a successful club, being successful with beautiful women and the progress I made - whether financially or physically (ironically not emotionally or spiritually).
So, when the COVID lockdowns hit, my confidence took a major hit. I lost my nightclub, restaurant, and entertainment business, and was forced to sell my houses.
Luckily at the same time, I was focusing on my spiritual side and was able to grow confidence in who I was as a person. But, I never addressed the biggest problem… My confidence and identity were primarily attached to something physical.
Losing my identity led me to not stay in as good shape as I was prior and made me feel like I wasn’t a suitable partner. I felt like I wasn’t ready to be someone’s boyfriend.
I lost my confidence because I was also having an identity crisis.
2. Identify what increases your confidence
Now that I couldn’t rely on a business or financial success to increase my confidence, I had to figure out how else I could increase my confidence.
Since I was having an identity crisis, I needed a new identity.
Diving into books and self-education equipped me with something that couldn’t be taken away from me… Knowledge.
No matter what happened, I would always know what I know.
Furthermore, I figured out a few other things that would increase my confidence.
Dressing well
Staying in shape
Being certain about myself
Doubling down on things I enjoyed doing (Chess & Muay Thai)
Practicing gratitude because although I lost a lot, I still had a lot
By shifting my focus to what would increase my confidence, I could… increase my confidence.
You need to do the same for your second step.
3. Practice gratitude daily
As I mentioned above, practicing gratitude daily is key. We often forget how much we have because it is so easy to focus on what we don’t have or what we once had (in my case).
Practicing gratitude can be simple too.
You can do it by writing in your journal - listing a few things you are grateful for each day.
But, there are other more elaborate ways to do this.
Text someone different each day why you are grateful for them
Say “thank you” out loud every time something good happens to you
Make a list of things you are grateful for and then spend more time with those things
Practicing gratitude is nothing new. You know you should be doing this.
Unfortunately, we are busy so gratitude gets forgotten. It’s time for you to prioritize it.
4. Block out the noise
It’s too easy to fall into the comparison trap. Every time you open your goddamn phone, someone is showing you something you don’t have (or something they may not even have either).
Worst of all, your apps likely know exactly what you wish you had and now constantly feed you content about exactly those things.
Knowing you can’t have what you desire can crush your confidence.
You need to block out this noise and focus on what increases your confidence instead.
The same goes for negative people around you. Block them out.
These people leave you feeling drained every time you talk to them. They talk about what you don’t have, put you down and have no place in your life.
It’s time to focus on yourself.
5. Continuously work on what increases your confidence
Repetition is key. Likely, your confidence will not come back completely after a couple of weeks or even a couple of months of doing something.
Progress requires consistency.
Every day, every week, every month - you need to work on the things that will increase your confidence.
As you see your improvements, you will feel your confidence grow and with that, your happiness will too.
The happier you are, the more confident you become, the better your life will be.
Seeing that you lost 10 pounds in a month or that you added a few thousand dollars to your bank account will make you feel better about yourself.
Being able to answer questions you couldn’t in the past and knowing exactly who you are will make you feel pretty awesome about yourself.
Progress comes from doing the same thing, the right thing, over and over again.
Conclusion
It’s hard to achieve anything without first having confidence. Everything feels easier when you are confident.
If you want to lift more at the gym, make more money, or ask out your dream girl, you need to be confident.
It’s one of those things that sounds simple on paper but it is not so easy to execute.
That’s why you need to get started today.
Thanks for reading