How to be an Introvert in an Extrovert’s World
A tale of needing what you have trouble enjoying
Most introverts, prefer to stay at home and do things by themselves. They avoid socializing too often and would rather not be in overly stimulating environments.
I’m introverted though and that’s not me.
For years, I was in a club nearly every night. Surrounded by people trying to strike conversations, dancing and flashing lights.
It was the most stimulating environment you could imagine.
And I loved it
That all changed when I stopped drinking alcohol though. Sobriety showed me alcohol tricked me into being an extrovert.
Yet, today, I own a restaurant and am constantly in an extrovert’s world, again.
The introvert in you is probably asking…how and why?
We all need to socialize
One thing is clear - even introverts need to socialize.
We humans are social creatures and even if you prefer to be by yourself, never talking to anyone and hiding from society is not good for you.
Nor is it enjoyable.
Eventually, you’ll crave human interaction and go in public. Otherwise, you’ll lose your mind.
A lot of us realized this when we were locked down just a couple of years ago.
So, the question becomes, what kind of socializing should introverts participate in?
The answer is going to be based on who you are.
Sometimes, you need to have a night with your friends playing board games. Chances are these friends are also introverts and this activity will be good for all of you.
I am one of those people and would love nothing more than to play chess or Settlers of Catan with friends, but I also occasionally crave being in ridiculously stimulating environments.
This might be because I lived there for many years. Either way, a few hours there ties me over for weeks.
How to manage yourself in a highly stimulating environment
Working on the restaurant floor, constantly talking to customers and staff can be exhausting.
For introverts, any conversation can be draining. Even the thought of having to talk to people for 8-10 hours straight will drain the best of us.
But, I do that multiple times a week.
I’ve found there are a few things that If I do while I am in public, I can keep going for a longer period of time.
First of all, you need to take breaks.
I will often disappear from the restaurant floor for a few seconds to splash water in my face. This quickly resets me and allows me to keep going.
If I have more time, I might escape to the office to do a breathing exercise for 1-2 minutes or simply step away from all the stimulation and often meaningless conversations.
Secondly, you have to figure out what activities are more draining.
For me, the most draining activity is meaningless conversation. If someone comes up to me to talk about nothing, I want to escape and fast.
Funny enough, I’m good at it. But, knowing that it drains me, I tend to keep these conversations short and quickly move to the next one.
Being around loud music or bright lights I enjoy from time to time. For some people though, this will be painful and will probably give you a headache.
If that’s the case, do it in short sprints and then leave. Or, go to the bathroom to destress when needed.
These exact same rules are what I apply if I’m at a music festival or club.
By identifying what drains you, you can control your environment better.
Keep your circle in the loop
Most of my friends understand that I have trouble in these environments - so did my ex. They know I need breathers.
Funny enough, I have friends in very similar positions as me.
When the people close to you know how you operate, they’ll support you and cover for you when you step away.
You don’t want to come off as socially awkward randomly walking away from conversations or stepping in the bathroom every hour.
This is easily avoidable if your friends know you. If they have a similar issue with being in these environments, you can cover for each other.
Closing thoughts
I’m sure some of you are asking, why even put yourself through that?
The answer is that I do get some enjoyment out of these environments. On top of that, I tend to thrive there too.
I’m good at it. But, I wouldn’t be good at it if I didn’t follow my method to keep myself going while in those environments.
If you’re an introvert, give this a shot. Start slowly and see if you can extend how long you stay.
Thanks for reading