5 “DON’TS” When Going to a Restaurant (According to a Restaurant Owner)
A few quick lessons on restaurant etiquette
Before ever working in a restaurant, there were a few things I thought were simply common knowledge among people.
You know… how to treat staff, proper manners, etiquette and so on.
It turns out, a shockingly large percentage of people do things which make others cringe. Unfortunately, a lot of the people who act in cringe-worthy ways don’t know better.
I thought about creating a course on basic restaurant etiquette, but instead, I decided I would just write a quick blog post first to see if is well received.
If you work in a restaurant or bar, you will likely relate to a lot of these.
1. No (or low) -Tip
I’ve seen people complain quite a bit about the tipping culture these days. To be fair, in some places, it has gotten out of hand.
For example, some places in Vegas have a preset tip of 50%.
But, restaurant staff need to make money too.
Before you start screaming about how businesses should be paying them more, I want you to keep something in mind.
Restaurants have low margins.
If they pay the staff more (equivalent to what tips work out to or close to it), your $20 burger would now cost $35 (or more). This means you’d be paying the restaurant extra for the wage, instead of the server directly.
With the tipping system, the server’s wage is in your hands.
If they do a good job, they get paid more. If they do a bad job, you can make them lose money (literally).
That’s right. They lose money when you don’t tip!
That’s because they tip out the other staff based on their sales – Not their tips.
So, when you are tipping, keep in mind that the reason your food is not 50%+ more expensive is the restaurant industry has left it up to you to decide how much the staff deserves to make above minimum wage.
It’s up to you when going out to budget based on tips as well.
2. Snapping your fingers
One of the best ways to piss off your server or bartender is to snap your fingers to get their attention.
They know you are sitting there.
They want to give you the best service possible (because of the tipping system).
When you snap your fingers, it snaps them out of their flow, they often forget what they were just doing, and that leads to them making a mistake with someone else’s order and often yours.
Instead, try to make eye contact with them. They’ll then check to see if you need water, are ready to place your order or want to pay.
The easiest way to approach this is to put yourself in their shoes.
Would you want someone snapping their fingers in your face at work?
3. Not showing up to a reservation
There are few things more damaging to a restaurant than making a reservation and not showing up.
Because of those who do this, restaurants have now started to require deposits to make a reservation or take credit card information to charge those who don’t show up.
By not showing up, you leave seats in the restaurant empty.
And as I mentioned earlier, restaurant margins are quite low. A reservation not showing up could be the difference between the restaurant making or losing money that night.
But, maybe you don’t care.
Maybe you are one of those a*sholes who don’t mind seeing businesses suffer (and thus the staff) due to a few inconsiderate people.
The simple way around this is to call 24 hours (or more) ahead of time and let the restaurant know you can’t make it to your reservation.
Better yet, only make a reservation if you know you will be able to attend.
4. Show up late
This one is a massive pet peeve of mine because people who are late in general tend to drive me a little crazy.
But, showing up late to a reservation is almost as bad as not showing up at all.
A busy restaurant has a window of time to serve you based on when you made your reservation. When you show up late, this not only affects the quality of service but also affects the group who booked after you.
The next group now has to wait because you don’t know how to use a clock.
So, how does it affect the quality of service you ask?
Well! When you make a reservation, the restaurant spaces out other reservations based on your arrival time.
They do this to make sure the kitchen can keep up with orders and to make sure staff aren’t stuck working too long.
You showing up 30 minutes late means everyone who arrived on time will now have food orders which will take longer than they are supposed to.
Your lack of punctuality affected the night of many other people in the restaurant.
Now, the restaurant is annoyed with you, and customers are annoyed with the restaurant for their food taking so long.
In reality, everyone should be annoyed with your selfish self.
I know what you’re thinking!
Sometimes, there are things out of your control. Traffic, construction, a train, and so on.
If that is the case, simply call the restaurant, give them a heads up and let them know an accurate time of arrival.
It helps them immensely and is the courteous thing to do.
5. Constantly use your flash
We all like getting good pictures of our food. A lot of us also like getting good pictures with our food or the lovely atmosphere of the restaurant.
Problems only arise when you are taking pictures for an extended period and are using your flash.
There are other people in the restaurant.
There are people on a nice date who don’t want to constantly have flashes on their faces. It ruins the romance.
Some families don’t want their kids to be in your spotlight the entire evening.
And some servers are trying to talk to customers without being blinded.
If you are wondering how many times you can use the flash on your camera without it being inappropriate… the answer depends on the restaurant.
I would say twice.
Once for the first picture and a second time in case you screwed up the first one.
Anything after that you are just annoying customers and staff.
Be considerate of others.
Closing thoughts
The best way to approach restaurant etiquette is to ask yourself what would annoy you if you were working here.
Would you be annoyed if someone didn’t tip you when your livelihood depended on it?
Would you be annoyed if you were expecting to serve a group and they didn’t show up?
Would you be annoyed if you were on a date and the group of friends sitting next to you had their flash going off the whole time?
Etiquette just comes down to being considerate of others.
Cheers!