What It Actually Means to Live in the Present and How to Do It
Coming back to the “now” will help you find happiness.
I’m sure you’ve heard, “live in the now” more than once and it’s probably getting repetitive, but it’s more necessary and difficult than ever.
The more challenges and responsibilities we have, the harder it is to stop worrying about the future - what might happen.
The more traumas, memories and pain, the harder it is to not be stuck in the past - what has happened.
By learning to live in the present, we can reduce anxiety, fear and pain. So this leads us to beg the question…
How can we live in the present, and what does that even feel like?
You have no worries in the present.
When was the last time you felt simple joy? One of those moments where everything just feels easy, and flows naturally.
You know those moments that are so simple that as it’s happening, and after it happened, you being to realize how joyful it was, and then wonder just how you can always be in that bliss.
I’ll give you two examples where I feel like this.
Near the end of my work day and I'm driving home on a sunny day with the windows open. The breeze is blowing, my music is blasting, the lights are green, and everything feels right.
I’m not thinking about what happened that day, I'm not thinking about what I have to do, I am completely present, and enjoying the present moment.
Anytime I do any activity that requires focus. For example, playing guitar or working out.
When you are playing an instrument (when you are comfortable with it), you aren’t thinking about much else. You’re in the moment, feeling the notes and vibe, you’re present.
When you’re working out, you aren’t worried about what you have to do tomorrow, or what someone told you yesterday. You are counting your reps, getting the most out of each one. You are present.
Being present is great. Being present is when you are truly living.
Whereas living your life in the future, or in the past, will either cause you to live in fear, or in a constant state of anxiety and regret. None of which are enjoyable.
How can we live in the present all the time?
The answer is, you probably can’t. But we can try…
It’s simply unrealistic to always be in the present, and on top of that, maybe not the best.
Fear is sometimes a sign that there is something you need to work on, and it can help you plan for the future if used properly.
The anxiety of the past can be a sign there’s some work you need to do to overcome.
However, yes, it is more enjoyable and calming to be in the present, and yes, there are ways to work on being in the present more often for prolonged periods of time.
Okay, so how can you practice living in the present?
There are 3 things I would recommend practicing to help live in the present more often:
Gratitude
Awareness
Let’s break these down together.
Meditation for living in the now.
For many of you, the thought of being alone in your head can be scary. On top of that, you probably have some image of a Buddha sitting with his eyes closed, cross-legged for 5 days straight.
Sounds uncomfortable and for 99.9% of people, it is.
The truth is it can be simple.
You can start meditating for short periods of time, and without forcing yourself to sit cross-legged on the hard floor pretending your lower back and knees aren’t in pain.
I will give you directions on an easy meditation to help bring you to the present and it’ll only take you 5 minutes.
Okay, here it is.
A simple meditation practice
Sit on a couch or chair (whichever is comfier).
Now close your eyes and breathe gently. In through your nose, and out through your mouth. At first, count 4 seconds as you breathe in, and 6 seconds as you breathe out.
Do this for 5 minutes.
As you do this you may even end up wanting to slow your breath down more. That’s okay, do what’s comfortable and just continue to focus on your breath.
Now this is where people often complicate it. You were probably told you must think about nothing.
Here’s the issue. If you think about nothing, you’re probably thinking about thinking about nothing. That’ll just turn into a mess.
Instead, listen to your thoughts as if it was another person in your head. As if your thoughts were just sounds of the people or cars in the background.
Let your thoughts talk. It’s okay to hear them, but you don’t need to acknowledge them. Let them flow out as easily as they flowed in.
It’s all noise.
This sounds easy, but it can be hard for a lot of people. However, if you do this every day for 3 months, it will slowly become easier and easily.
For a bigger challenge, every 2nd day add 1 minute to your meditation.
It’s important to note that your thoughts will always happen, but the more comfortable you get with your own thoughts, the more you’ll realize your thoughts don’t bother you anymore. It’s just noise.
You’ll feel as if your thoughts become more silent. As your thoughts become quieter, you’ll feel present. You’ll be completely and utterly in the moment.
The best way to get to that silence is to sit down, be quiet, breathe, and let what happens, happen.
Practice gratitude regularly
Practice gratitude every day as if it was Thanksgiving Dinner.
Okay maybe your family is not like mine, but every Thanksgiving Dinner we would go around the table and say something we are thankful for.
I used to struggle with this.
Not because there was nothing I was thankful for, but because I didn’t want to repeat what someone else repeated.
Don’t be afraid to be thankful for something simple, something that anyone would say. Be thankful for everything that you are thankful for.
There are many different techniques for practicing gratitude.
The practice of gratitude is something that many successful people do. It’s something that almost every self-help book will recommend.
When I first started practicing gratitude I would say thank you to every green light as I was driving. On top of that, I drove around listening to Gary Vee screaming at me about how I have a lot to be grateful for, and as annoying as that sounds, he is right.
Go through a whole day noticing everything great about your life.
Here are some things I am grateful for on a daily basis (in no particular order):
Art
Sex
Love
Hugs
Music
Family
Movies
Driving
Friends
A nice walk
A great book
Bright colours
Delicious food
My dog Chanel
Breathing properly
The more you start to notice the little things, the more often you’ll notice them.
But, back to the point.
How does practicing gratefulness, help you be in the present?
Simple. When you are grateful for everything you have right now, you are less worried about what happened in the past (because it all worked out) and less concerned about what will happen in the future (because you’re appreciative now).
You may have noticed the majority of the things I listed are unlikely to leave my life. When you’re happy and grateful, the present is great.
You’ll want to be here, now.
How to practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude can be simple. Here are two recommendations:
While driving, or just when you’re doing nothing. Say 10 things out loud that you are grateful for. When you’re saying it out loud, take a break in between each one and take a breath. Let yourself feel what that means to you.
At the end of each day, pull out a notebook and write 3 things that happen that day that you are grateful for. Reread this list and let yourself feel it.
Sometimes when I’m having a bad day and can’t dig deep it’s harder to do this practice. So, I wrote something down that I can read out loud and feel on these days.
I recommend you write down things you are grateful for so that on your bad days you can go through that.
Here is what I wrote:
Thank you for the dark, thank you for the light
Thank you for never losing my sight
Thank you for the love, thank you for the pain
Thank you for my memories that I could never explain
Thank you for my smell, thank you for my taste
Thank you for all the times you thought were a waste
Thank you for family, thank you for friends,
Thank you for the nights which I wish would never end
Thank you for sickness, thank you for health
Thank you for my goals of achieving wealth
Thank you for the sun, thank you for the moon,
Thank you for those gone too soon
Thank you my mind, thank you for my name
Thank you for all, for I would not be the same
You may be asking yourself, why am I thankful for the bad things too?
Here’s a simple explanation… You wouldn’t know love if you didn’t know hate. There wouldn’t be light if there wasn’t darkness. There is no white, without black.
Be grateful for what teaches you the good.
Embrace awareness
Are you aware of why you feel the way you feel?
Are you aware of what you did today that might have affected your mood?
Are you aware of what happened when you were 8 years old that is keeping your mind in the past?
Awareness can go a long way.
Knowing yourself can be harder than it sounds. Once you become aware of your feelings, your past, and how you react… You will be able to let negative feelings pass, or when needed, act on them.
If you can react accordingly to these feelings, you can move past easier and allow yourself to come back to the present.
How can one be more self-aware? Let’s go through 3 ways. (aside from meditation)
Start a journal. Putting how you feel on paper will make your feelings more natural and real. When you reread your journal you will realize that your feelings are normal.
You will also be able to find patterns in your reactions and feelings. This will help you become more aware, know what to do, and come back to the present.
Put yourself in new environments. Travelling is an easy way to do this. Get yourself in situations where you are not comfortable, or where you haven’t been before. This will help you learn about yourself ONLY if you go over what happened. (A journal would help with this).
The more situations you get in and analyze, the more aware you will be of how you react and what makes you feel, and how you feel.
See a therapist. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with you, but I believe everyone should talk to a therapist at least once. It’s great to get advice or an assessment of yourself from someone who is not biased at all.
A therapist will help you put things together, and help make sense of a mess in your mind that you didn’t even know existed. Personally, I have had great luck talking to a clinical psychologist. It helped tremendously.
Conclusion
When you live in the present, you are more calm and easy to be around. You can almost sense it in people.
This is a beautiful place to be. Living in the present will result in a happier, less stressful and more peaceful life.
I believe living in the present is the key to happiness.
Each person has different practices to help them remain in the present, and some lucky people will just be there naturally.
Do you have any practices that help you remain in the present? Please share if you do!
Thanks for reading!
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