This Is for the Ones Who Feel Like They’re Never Enough
You’re not alone
You, like many others, are prone to feeling like you are not enough. No matter what you do, the results are rarely what you want them to be.
Perhaps it comes from a lifetime of “failures”, or maybe it is because your expectations for yourself are unreasonable.
Regardless of the reason, this feeling of never being enough is destroying your relationships and well-being and my guess is you are fed up.
You want to find a way to get out of this mindset.
If this sounds like you… This one is for you.
Not enough for who?
The simple fact that you feel like you are never enough means there is some standard you are trying to live up to, but don’t feel like you are doing successfully.
You need to identify where this standard comes from and why you believe it is there.
Does it come from your parents constantly pushing you to do better?
Does it come from your old teachers telling you you’d never amount to anything?
Does it come from social media telling you that you should be travelling the world and owning a Ferrari by now?
Or, does it come from some unrealistic goal you set for yourself a long time ago?
There is a good chance your unrealistic standard comes from more than one of these things.
So, maybe it is time to reevaluate what standards you are trying to live up to.
Let’s get one thing straight though… I’m not telling you to get rid of your goals, not push yourself or to be lazy in general. I’m just telling you that you’re living wrong.
But, before we get ahead of ourselves, my main point here is you need to identify what standard you are not living up to which is making you feel like you’re never enough.
Now, you can readjust.
Let’s make some healthy choices
There is something which needs to be said about looking after yourself.
If you’re feeling down, and have this feeling of never enough, it could very well be because you are not making healthy choices.
Are you eating properly and working out?
Are you getting enough sleep?
Are you spending too much time on social media and not spending the time loving yourself?
Think about this deeply and make the necessary changes before lowering your standards.
There is a good chance that if you make healthier choices for a long enough period of time, you will start to feel like you are enough.
At the least, you’ll feel better than you do now.
The solution isn’t always this simple for everyone, but for a lot of you, it can be.
So it’s a good idea to do this before doing anything too drastic.
Revisit your standards
You’ve been making consistent healthy choices for a few months now. Good job!
You see some physical results, have more energy, and your skin looks great!
But, you still don’t feel like you’re enough.
Okay, let’s go back to your standards again. Where do these standards come from?
Let’s use the “parents” example.
Your parents wanted you to be a doctor, but you took a different life path. Now, you feel like you’re never enough for them.
First of all, this is their standard for you. They want what they believe is best for you and in their time, the best thing they could do is become a doctor.
At the end of the day though, they want you to fulfill your potential and be the happiest you can be. If they see you killing it at something else, having a positive effect on society and happy while doing it, they’ll be happy too.
It’s quite likely you are taking their standard too seriously.
Regardless, you need to stop following the standards of others and set standards for yourself instead.
Instead of being a doctor, you decided to pursue a dream of opening a coffee shop.
Set new goals for yourself based on this dream. Do the necessary things to get there.
Once you dive into your passion, the standards of others won’t matter.
You’ll be enough because you’ll be doing what you love.
Set realistic milestones
Even when you are following your passion and chasing your dreams, your standards can make you feel like you’re never enough.
You have your coffee shop, but you start comparing yourself to Starbucks. You wanted 10 locations in your first 3 years, but you only have 2.
Once again, you feel like you’re not enough.
Your standards make you severely unhappy if you are constantly comparing yourself to the best in the world and expecting to be the best immediately.
You move at your own pace. You are your own person.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t be the best, but you need to set realistic milestones.
Your goal can be to beat Starbucks (please beat Starbucks) - you do need to have milestones between now and then though.
Set a milestone at opening 3 locations and then another at hitting a certain amount in revenue. Each time you hit 1 milestone, set a few more.
This allows you to celebrate the little wins. By celebrating the little wins, you’ll see you’re doing great and are enough.
This validation is what you need.
If you only focus on a massive end goal, you will forever compare yourself to your future self.
This comparison hanging over your head will lower your chances of getting there.
And worst of all, forever make you feel like you are never enough.
Closing thoughts
I, like many others, often feel like I am not enough. I have massive goals, many of which people would say are unrealistic.
The majority of the time though, I am happy, productive and moving forward. That is because I constantly focus on making healthy choices and focus on my own standards.
My standards are realistic because I have a bunch of smaller milestones along the way.
Try to do the same and let me know if it works for you as well as it has worked for me.
Thanks for reading.