The Man in the Mercedes: Using Negative Emotions to Unlock Motivation
Some people will make you believe “nice” is a rare commodity
You’ve probably been told to find motivation in positive places. You need to focus on a beautiful end goal, doing good and helping others.
I’ll be the first to admit that I encourage people to do just that - in fact, 99% of the time, that is how I get my motivation.
However!
Once in a while, negative emotions can fuel your motivation and bring you to great places.
This is what I want to tell you about today.
A random day in the life of a 16-year-old
It was another workday as a bag boy at Safeway. I worked there a couple of times a week as a teenager.
I packed bags for customers, brought carts back out for customers and stacked the shelves.
The job paid minimum wage, but after my union dues, it was about $1/hour under.
To be honest, I was happy to be getting paid to do any work.
As a 16-year-old, I loved seeing nice cars. For as long as I can remember, my brothers and I would get excited seeing a beautiful car and dream of owning one.
Once in a while, a nice car would pull up to Safeway. This was one of those days.
A Mercedes pulled up. Nothing too special - a regular SLK. But, it was enough to excite me since the nicest car I had driven was a Nissan Maxima.
The sound of the engine stood out and made me immediately stare.
When the car stopped, a man in his 50s got out. He was wearing sunglasses, and a well-tailored suit and walked confidently.
I was shy when I was 16 years old, but I drummed up the courage to ask the man what year his car was made. My hope was simply to start a conversation with a man who owned a nice car.
His response changed the next decade of my life though.
“Keep looking. It’s the closest you’ll ever get to owning one.”
Aside from being an absolute douchebag to a kid, who talks like that to anyone? (I guess guys who drive SLKs)
This immediately upset me.
Money was never my motivation. At that time, the main thing I cared about in life was having a decent car. If I had enough money for that, I’d be happy.
But, from that moment on, I decided I never wanted anyone to be able to talk down to me like that.
Emotions were felt…
I was angry, jealous, frustrated and embarrassed.
Was he right? Would I never be able to afford a Mercedes?
These negative emotions fueled me for years to come. I didn’t want this douchebag to be right.
I would try to prove him wrong.
My goal became to one day be able to pull up to a grocery store in a nice car and show it to the kids pushing carts in the parking lot.
I didn’t like being jealous.
I didn’t like being talked down to.
And I hated that I felt the way I felt. I wanted the feelings to go away.
Where those emotions led me
From then on, anytime I wanted to be lazy, I thought of that guy.
His “douchery” fueled me to work 100-hour weeks for years. It fueled me to try to continuously do more.
I didn’t ever know where my journey was taking me, but the goal of having a nice car and not being a douchebag at the same time kept me going.
Years later, at the age of 25, I got my first Porsche.
A year after that, I upgraded and got a nicer Porsche.
I did my best to be humble about it. I was never a douche to anyone who asked about my car.
I took people for rides, I revved the engine for kids who asked, and I let people take pictures with it even when it annoyed me.
This was because I understood that just seeing a car like that can excite someone and motivate them.
Once I finally got there, once I finally got a nice car, a lot of my anger and jealousy was released.
While having these emotions for this long was not the healthiest thing, I would be lying if I said it didn’t help me.
From time to time, those emotions come back, and to be honest, it gives me a little boost.
But, with age and wisdom, you learn how to deal with those emotions and get the best out of them.
The right lesson to learn
I’m hoping upon reading this you are not taking the wrong lessons.
The lesson is not that you should find a douchebag to motivate you to do better or achieve more.
The lesson is that any emotion, powerful enough, can be used to better yourself.
I had a mentor who told me that he was making 35k a year working in sales. And then, he had a kid.
The year he had a kid, his commissions surpassed 100k.
The difference?
He had motivation. He wanted to be able to provide for his family whom he loved and he found it in him to step up his game and do just that.
You can find the same motivation through love for your family, a beautiful end goal, or through a douchebag.
The point is to find a motivation powerful enough that it will push you through the hard times and encourage you to do more than you would otherwise.
While negative emotions helped me for years and can do the same for you, I would still recommend finding motivation through love instead.
It’s much easier on you and you’ll end up making better decisions along the way.
Thanks for reading