I am Officially 31 Years Old. Here is What Life Has Taught Me.
My annual birthday reflection.
Created with Midjourney
One of the best habits you can pick up is to reflect regularly. Whether you choose to do it by meditating, journaling, writing or talking out loud… it will help you immensely.
That was one of the main reasons I started a blog in the first place. It’s meant to be an open journal of what I’ve learnt, what I’m learning and doing so I can be held accountable.
As I write this, it is my 31st birthday. On June 6th, 31 years ago, I was born.
Today, I write openly to reflect on what I’ve learnt and what I want out of my future so that I can be held accountable and that you the reader can better understand how my train of thought works.
Enjoy,
What did we really learn in our early years?
Sure, we learn how to count, read, etc. but what about if we go deeper? What lessons have actually mattered?
There are things that happened to us when we are 5 years old that still sticks with us many years later. For example, I slipped on ice in front of my school once and I became ridiculously cautious walking on ice ever since.
The experiences we’ve had stick with us harder than anything - especially fears and failures.
When I think about that, it leads me to wonder how I will be as a dad, or how I should be. What experiences should I help my future children have? How cautious should I be as a parent?
Really all of our years of experience will determine how we are as parents, and what we pass on to the next generation.
What have my years of experience taught me?
Relationships matter more than anything. All of them.
Our behavior influences how people feel about us, and how close we get with others. A strong relationship goes further than anything.
A strong relationship with your close family means you will always have someone there for you. Ones with friends mean you always have “partners in crime”.
What about everyone else?
When you’re kind to someone you’ve just met, they open up to you. They’re more likely to help you in the future, talk highly of you or want to get closer to you.
That goes a long way.
Having peers that are going through similar experiences so you can talk it out helps, not to mention someone who's already gone through what you are going through now… relationships matter.
There are many non-obvious relationships that have helped me.
You meet someone and you are kind to each other, and then months, or years later when you meet again, you get closer, and either become friends or can do business together.
The power of being authentic and kind is underrated.
One of the greatest things I’ve done was allow myself to truly be who I am. Anytime I have done that, I have made better friends and better memories.
Being dishonest to yourself, and being who you think others want you to be is the greatest mistake you may ever make.
Why be someone you think someone wants you to be, just so they can like you?
What happens if they don’t even like this new fake person you created?
Just be yourself and let those who like you, like you, and those who don’t, won’t. That’s okay. At least you’re living the truth.
It’s funny because the more you reflect, the more you realize that the only things that really stick with you were the good memories you made and the regrets that may linger.
So how can you make more good memories, and minimize regrets?
The answer is simple and it’s something I always talk about. Learn to make better decisions.
Your life is a series of decisions and if you improve that skill, you’ll minimize regrets, and increase your chances of creating good memories.
Maybe I’m missing something else though…
If you become too good at making decisions, will you miss out on a certain amount of adventure? What if some of the best memories were made because you picked what would technically be the wrong decision?
There may be a certain amount of joy that comes with a surprise, that comes with impulse and that comes with what your logic can not tell you.
I would then reason that it’s possibly in our best interest to leave room in our lives for joy and adventure.
If I would have made the “best” decision every time, I probably would have stayed in school, and either wasted more time studying what does not interest me, or graduated and be working a job that does not interest me.
The best decision doesn’t always lead you down the right path.
Sometimes we have to lead with our hearts, instead of our brains. It would make sense to allow both to flourish. So how can we do that?
To better lead with our hearts we need to not only be kind and compassionate, but we need the be very self-aware, which means doing a lot of self-reflection. To lead with our hearts we have to know what we truly want.
To better lead with our brains, we need to not only be self-aware but we need to study the lives of others. What can we learn from the greats? The decisions they made that gave them the right or wrong outcomes?
This means that we need to learn to reflect, be aware, be kind and analyze others.
If we can balance all of those, our lives will be quite enjoyable, and memorable.
As I reflect on the past 31 years, I realize that this is what is most important and this is what I will work on to be better in the future and to reach my desired outcomes.
How can I work on all of these things to increase my chances of reaching my desired outcome?
Let’s start with our brains.
This one is a bit more obvious. Personally, I like to read and do courses. But what do I read, and what courses do I do?
Anything that I believe will help me make better decisions.
That means I love reading biographies of people I admire - those who have achieved greatness, made mistakes, and seen successes.
Some of the best biographies I’ve read were on Richard Branson, Steve Jobs and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Richard Branson’s biography taught me what you’d think Nike would have taught me. Just do it. You have to give it a shot, you have to adventure, and you have to go adventure.
Steve Jobs’ biography taught me that there is beauty in simplicity, that everyone has ups and downs, and that if you believe in your vision, it can come true.
Whereas Arnold’s biography taught me that you can be good at multiple things. Don’t be afraid of switching industries, trying new things and grinding it out.
Aside from biographies, I love reading books on spirituality, physics and self-help books. I want to learn about how things work, the universe, about our souls, and what the human potential is.
I take courses to learn specific skills. Based on whatever I’m working on at the time, there’s always a skill that I could be better at. I’ll find a course, and do that.
And then there’s just straight-up working. Forcing myself to take on new projects that force me to try new things, learn new things, and make different kinds of decisions.
That’s the brain. All pretty straightforward… but what about the heart?
As I wrote in my blog post Be Love, I like to ask myself what love would do if it were a person in any given situation. That’s the best way to allow yourself to lead with kindness and compassion.
It’s also important though to stay in touch with yourself.
Meditation, journaling, writing in public, or going on walks by yourself… However you decide to reflect and learn about yourself, it’s ridiculously important.
Love comes from yourself. You must love yourself and in order to do that, you have to truly know yourself first.
Once you have that love in you, it’s up to you to shoot it in any direction you want. The beauty in that is that there is no limit to how much love you release. Once you have it in you, it never stops… unless you lose touch with yourself.
That’s why it’s key to meditate regularly (or whatever form of self-reflection you prefer).
I believe that if you learn to make the best decisions and lead with your heart (kindness & compassion), then your life is bound to lead to great places.
Times get tough though, really tough. When they do, it’s important to remember something I’ve heard numerous people say now.
“This too shall pass”.
Everything is temporary. These are all just moments.
Things are great, you’re on top of the world. Guess what? This too shall pass.
You lost your driver’s license, you lost 3 businesses and your income has crashed. Guess what?! This too shall pass.
What matters is that you continue making the best decisions you can and you continue to lead with love. Remain relatively neutral to the ups and downs because we know that both shall eventually pass.
Remind yourself in the bad times, that without these moments, there would be no good times. That’s just the universal truth.
You couldn’t have light if there was no darkness.
There would be no pleasure, without pain.
And the sun can only shine on one side of the mountain.
When you are in the dark, it’s up to you to climb to the other side and find the light or… you could remain in the dark and make the best of it, fully aware that the sun will rise once again.
Both are okay, as long as you are aware of your path.
As I reflect on over 30 years of life, this is what seems to stick with me the most.
We have to do our best, continue to love, and remain aware of the universal truth.
That’s all there really is to it.
Thanks for reading,
This was written without any edits as I wanted it to be raw.
To get more content, and additional life hacks - sign up for my free weekly newsletter.