5 Vital Dos and Don’ts When You Are Newly Single
What to do and what not to do when you are fresh out of a relationship.
I’ve been newly single 10 times. Although I often suffered from heartache, it became easier to recover each time.
The reason it got easier is that I learned what to do, and what not to do.
Many people when they’re newly single make mistakes that make the pain worse, and the recovery process longer. I want to help you avoid that.
Over the years, I’ve often seen a lot of people struggle after a breakup. In many cases, their heartache can negatively affect their lives in ways that take years to come back from.
I’ve been there too.
My goal with this article is to help ensure those who are suffering from heartache don’t make it worse and can recover quickly!
The Dos
1. Create a new routine
This is the first thing you have to do when you are newly single. When you are in a relationship, your life becomes modelled around your partner. Your schedule was based on when you were both available.
They might have been your ride to work, or they were your gym partner.
You have a lot of newfound time now that you’re single, so take advantage of that, and create a new routine that works well for you.
If you do this right it will be extremely beneficial in the long run.
2. Spend time with friends and family
As I mentioned earlier, you now have a lot more time. This is time that was spent with someone you love(d). So, spend this time with others that you love.
You have amazing friends and family who would love to see you more often.
Now that you’re free, you can create a better relationship with your parents and hang out more with your friends.
Make the best of it.
3. Workout often
The best revenge is a revenge-bod. I’m only half kidding.
All this extra time means you don’t need to cut your workouts short anymore! Use any negative energy to push out a few extra reps!
You’re going to be very frustrated at times, and quite likely super sad too.
Working out is going to release dopamine in your system. You’re not only going to feel awesome in the moment, but in the long run, you’re going to look at yourself in the mirror naked and smile.
Go ahead. Do it.
4. Socialize with new people
In relationships, you often hold back from meeting new people. This might be because your partner was the jealous type and didn’t want you talking to others, but it could also be because you got so comfortable that you just stopped going out.
You’re single now, so go meet some new people.
This doesn’t have to have any intention aside from making new friends. Put yourself out there, be kind to everyone and remain open-minded.
Typically, this is how you will meet your next partner anyway. You probably don’t want to hear that right now so just focus on giving yourself the opportunity to see that there are a lot of awesome people out there, and then… make friends with them.
5. Love yourself
You’re filled with love, and now that you’re single, you have a lot more of that energy to share! Some of this energy should be given to your friends and family, but most of it should be spent on yourself.
Working out as I mentioned above is a great option. But, there are other great things you can do to show yourself love.
Here are a few recommendations:
Travel
Take yourself on a date
Cook yourself an amazing meal
Go get a massage, or go to a spa
Write a list of things you are grateful for
Write a list of all the reasons you are awesome
The best way of putting it is that you should love yourself as if you are the love of your life. Do what is best for yourself, and go out of your way to make yourself happy.
Love for the long term.
The Don’ts
1. Sleep around
“Now that you’re single, you can sleep with whoever you want! On top of that, if you sleep with someone else, you’ll be able to get your ex off your mind!”
Yeah, so that’s all a load of bullshit.
Take it from me, the guy who has done this more than once.
When you are newly single and you go sleeping around, you will wake up feeling disgusted with yourself and will regret it the majority of the time.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t sleep with anyone. It means don’t do it just because you can and don’t do it as an attempt to cover up any heartache you have.
It won’t work.
2. Jump into another relationship
A better way of wording this might be, “Don’t go on the rebound”.
This is one of the worst possible things you can do. Not only are you wasting your time and doing yourself a disservice, but you are actually being really inconsiderate to your new “partner”.
They are likely looking for a serious relationship, and you are only trying to fill a new gap in your life with someone else’s heart.
Jumping into another relationship is only going to make your heartache worse in the long run, while breaking someone else’s heart.
Big no-no!
3. Drink your pain away
This is another one that I am guilty of. You have free time, and instead of facing the pain head-on, you drink and party so that you can have fun.
By doing this you are just delaying the inevitable pain, and are actually going to make it worse.
Alcohol does not make you happier. It might temporarily distract you, but I bet when you are hungover in bed, unable to move and stuck with your feelings… you will be in a lot more pain than you were prior.
Don’t try and block out your feelings.
4. Eat your pain away
It is very tempting to pull out that tub of ice cream, or whatever other “comfort” food you turn to, to try and make yourself feel better.
Well, that’s not going to work either.
Not only are you going to feel immediately shittier from whatever garbage you just ate, but your body is going to pay the price in the long run.
A few buckets of fried chicken and Slurpees later and you’ll be looking in the mirror crying, instead of smiling.
Remember, revenge bod!
5. Shop your pain away
If I’m being honest, this is the one I am the most guilty of. Quite often when I’m newly single, I end up buying a bunch of things as a way to help me fill up my schedule so I don’t have to think about the heartache.
All this will do is have you looking at your bank account, or credit card statement, and wondering what the hell you were thinking.
While there are a few things that you should buy (such as a spa day, some healthy food or some books), the majority of the shit you are going to buy is not going to help.
Buying a few thousand dollars in clothes or a new car is not going to do any good for you.
Be smart.
Closing remarks
Being newly single although sometimes exciting (if you had a shitty relationship) is typically extremely hard. I have found that even when I was the one who ended the relationship, it took a while to recover.
During this time it is important not to act impulsively, and follow these “dos & don’ts”.
If you follow these simple guidelines, I bet that you will be back to your normal self, if not better,
in just a few weeks.
Remember, some days will be harder than others. What’s important is to just keep moving, and doing your best.
You got this.
Thanks for reading.
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