5 Tips to Help You Overcome Social Anxiety
As a wise man once said… just do it
I went from being the shy guy at the table to the annoyingly loud one. (At least, that’s how it feels because the difference is so big.)
The truth is, I used to be terrified of talking to anyone. I spent too much time thinking before speaking which led me to hesitate to speak altogether.
Oddly enough, the way I got over that, was by studying “pick-up artistry”.
My social anxiety was preventing me from talking to girls, so I decided to do something about it.
Little did I know, the time I spent learning “pick-up” not only helped me build confidence to talk to girls but everyone else too.
It took some time, but eventually, my social anxiety diminished dramatically.
These are my 5 tips to help you overcome your social anxiety!
1. Hangout with social friends
I know, you know, you have friends who are much louder and much more social than you are.
These are the friends that may occasionally embarrass you, they bring you out of your shell and they might even annoy you at times.
BUT!
These are the friends who will put you in those situations that result in you becoming social.
The more time you spend around these friends, the better you will get at dealing with your social anxiety. Over time, you’ll realize you don’t have much to be anxious about after all.
Force yourself to hang out with these friends at least once a week. The key here is consistency.
If you only hang out with them once a month, you’ll get anxious about hanging out with them on top of your social anxiety.
Obviously, that would just make things worse.
Consistency is key here!
2. Create daily challenges
One of the best things I’ve ever done to help fight my social anxiety was to follow daily challenges.
Back in the day when I was learning about pick-up artistry, I stumbled upon a book called “Rules of the Game” by Neil Strauss.
Neil also wrote the book, “The Game”. A book where he tells the story of how he went deep into the world of pick-up artists.
Anyway, the book I stumbled upon was a playbook that helps you approach women. Each day, there was a different challenge to do which forced you to talk to random people.
For example, one day I went to the mall and approached 3 random strangers to start a conversation.
There is no way in hell I would have ever done that without being challenged to do so.
You can create similar challenges over 30 days to help you overcome social anxiety. They don’t have to be about picking up women.
These challenges can be about talking to random people or putting yourself in situations that would have otherwise made you uncomfortable.
The point is to challenge yourself.
Of course, you want the challenges to start easy and gradually get harder as the days go by.
This is a game-changer.
3. Act before you think (Yup, I said it)
The problem with social anxiety is that you get stuck in your head. You get stuck thinking about the what-ifs – everything that could possibly go wrong.
It sucks.
That’s why you need to start acting before you think.
No, this is not me trying to encourage you to do stupid things that can get you in trouble. This is me trying to get you to make gut decisions before you get lost in your mind thinking about how you might die talking to someone.
The most likely outcome of socializing is never nearly as bad as you make it out to be.
And, in the worst-case scenario, if you say something wrong or stupid, all you have to do is apologize and walk away.
After that, you analyze what went wrong, and try it again another day, or right away if you can find the confidence!
4. Practice relaxation techniques
This one is a long-term plan, but it is one that once you master, will help a lot.
Learning how to make yourself relax can be life-changing. It helps you stay out of your head and calm yourself physiologically.
It can be as simple as taking deep breaths.
Breathe in for 4 seconds, and breathe out for 6 seconds. Repeat.
This is a simple way to relax your body and something that can help with your social anxiety.
Aside from that, regular meditation is great because it makes it easier for you to find peace inside yourself. When you do get anxious, if you meditate regularly, the breathing will prove to be more effective.
Alternatively, I would recommend you don’t consume anything that tends to make you anxious.
For example, if you’re hyped up on caffeine, you won’t be relaxed. It’s also unlikely meditation will help much at that point.
5. Fake it till you make it
I know you hate to see this one on the list… but it works. The more you pretend your social anxiety is not there, the more comfortable you will become with it.
You’ll never have it go away completely.
The best of us still get social anxiety at times and when you think it’s finally gone, the weirdest scenario brings it back.
At one point, you have to decide to go for it.
You have to take the risk of the worst possible outcome occurring, and the best way of doing that is by faking it till you make it.
Just go for it and pretend you don’t have social anxiety.
And then, do it again until it no longer bothers you.
Conclusion
Social anxiety sucks.
It prevents us from living our lives to the fullest and the longer you live with it, the more of life’s beautiful experiences you miss out on.
By following these tips, you will be able to combat social anxiety and start living the life you were meant to live.
Just remember, it’s not a one-day fix.
This is a continuous journey and the more you work on it, and the more you challenge yourself, the better off you will be.
Thanks for reading